Will You Follow Too?

There are many things I love about this life, but few things compare to expression.
Art.
The written word.
Photos.
Dance.
Music.
Expression. I see a beautiful story in all of those things.

I definitely think it is because I have been a quiet person all my life. It's who I am. Even though I have opened up over the years, my strong feelings are careful to show themselves to the outside world even with the best of friends present. Thoughts are constantly circling in my head and most of the time they don't make it past my tongue.

So, I write. I sing. I try to speak the words.

For the past three years, I've had a song. A song that is partially my theme and wholly my prayer. It reminds me what following Jesus really means for me personally, and recently, for certain brothers and sisters in my life. It is my expression.

I Will Wast My Life by Misty Edwards.
The title of my blog and a song that has a lot of meaning. It is uncomfortable, and yet it is simple.

"I will waste my life
I'll be tempted and tried with no regrets inside of me
Just to find I'm at Your feet
Let me find I'm at Your feet

"I'll leave my father's house and I'll leave my mother
I'll leave all I have known and I'll have no other

"I am in love with You there is no cost
I am in love with You there is no loss
I am in love with You I want to take your name
I am in love with You I want to cling to you, Jesus
Just let me cling to You, Jesus

"I'll say goodbye to my father, my mother
I'll turn my back on any other lover
And I'll press on
yes, I'll press on"


What would happen if we all took this message seriously?
How honest and real, uncomfortable and challenging, it is!


This song doesn't just apply to me. It should apply to ALL of us who desire to follow Jesus.
It doesn't just apply to some girl who is going to be an international missionary in Uganda, it applies to everyone because we are all missionaries in life. Well, we should be.

 
"People from my first home say I'm brave. They tell me I'm strong. They pat me on the back and say, 'Way to go. Good job.' But the truth is, I am not really very brave; I am not really very strong; and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am simply doing what God has called me to do as a person who follows Him. He said to feed His sheep and He said to care for 'the least of these,' so that's what I'm doing, with the help of a lot people who make it possible and in the company of those who make my life worth living”
― Katie J. Davis, Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption


What does it look like for you to "waste your life" according to the world's standards?

Me? I will go and teach in a foreign country with different philosophies, different teaching styles, and different beliefs on Special Education. I will miss birthdays, holidays, weddings, and maybe even funerals. I will miss getting a hug from my mom after a day that leaves me completely empty. I will miss the smell of my dad's aftershave on his clothes. My brothers; their infuriating banter. The students I have been with for a year and a half; seeing them grow and change with joy. A comfortable teaching job, finding an apartment, staying with my small church and best friends,  paying off student loans, etc.
That is what I am "wasting". And I intend to continue to "waste" no matter where God takes me.
Yet, I have counted the cost and I am ready. Because God is worth it. He has proved that to me over and over again. He has used me despite my ugliness and selfish nature.
There is no excuse for me to not follow where He leads. It's not about me.

It's the same for you, but will you follow too?
.
 
 A dear friend of mine completely changed the direction of his life this last summer. His family was counting on him to get his degree and provide for the family after university, but God was calling him to be a ministry in his home country. His family disowned him as he followed Jesus' leading for several weeks. Now, he has reconciled with his family and is on his way to ministry - and knowing him, he will be great at it. I know God will bless him abundantly. I know for sure.
This friend is such an inspiration to me. That is what "wasting" life for Jesus looks like.