Settled

Inside this house of mine, I am free from trying to fit appropriately into a foreign culture. My mind is free from constant observation, translation, communication, and monitoring every action and word that comes from my being. I can be American in all its ways; who God chose me to be. Inside the house, I can meditate and process everything I experience outside these walls and iron barred windows – all those sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings. Now outside this house, I have finally felt that Uganda is now my home.

 The first month was exciting, lonely, and challenging. The second; frustrating, bewildering, and complex. The end of the third month and the beginning of my fourth? Settled. I feel settled. Finally comfortable in my own skin, in Uganda – as an ambassador for Christ in another cultural setting. I am able to observe and know for sure what is needed in all areas where I have influence. I know how I can show who I am while being culturally sensitive and appropriate. I am learning how to assert myself in this new way of life where many people cannot be trusted, and I have a better idea on what battles to fight or let go. As much as I miss the people back home, I really feel like my home is now in Kampala.

My heart is at home here. I still have challenges, but now most everything is familiar and “normal”. Some challenges don’t seem to feel as big as they used to be.  Finding my way around Kampala using public transportation? Normal. Seeing large vulture-like birds (almost scary looking) hanging around trees or parks? Normal. Being bombarded by street vendors shoving their items in my face? Normal. Taking an hour to complete a task that would only take a few minutes in the States because you meet friends along the way? Normal. And maybe that is why I am not updating people as much as I used to; everything is now a norm for me.

And with that can come apathy. Apathy happens too easily. I think it has been a struggle of mine. I’ve seen it in my relationship with Jesus and in other aspects of my life. That being said, I think I’ve become too comfortable about some things here in Uganda and things right outside the door of my western-style house at Kyambogo University:  Outside my door, I see children and adults picking through trash piles. Outside my door, there resides visible corruption and apathy capturing thousands of people into the vicious cycle of poverty. I hear tales of children taken never to be seen or heard from again. The bodies in the gutters of Kampala streets. Beggars on the street pleading with you – whether their words are true or not, it is still difficult to see. There is so much around to break my heart that I think it numbs me. It has become normal.

Now I ask, what does God want me to do about it? How does He want me to continue living in this context and still be a good steward of what I have? How can I live without apathy? God has all of those answers, I know, and following Him does not mean I should be comfortable. So how am I going to listen to His Spirit and be attentive to His commands? There is constant learning and I am so very thankful for His grace and mercy while I am still growing in Christ.  

Prayers:

-School starts up again Monday after my three-week holiday. Pray for a smooth transition back into a new term.

-Safety is always needed in this faster pace city – especially while I am traveling.

-My relationships with those around – that God will guide my conversations and speak through me.

-That I will always, always run to Him for everything – missing family & friends, wisdom in all things I do in respect to culture, etc.

-Like I said, I have been missing people back home more than usual. It is a weird sort of loneliness – I have many friends around, but there is a need for hugs from all of you.

-One of the teachers at ECLAC told me that his wife gave birth to a healthy, baby boy! After many complications with her pregnancy, not being paid at work, I am SO thankful to the Lord for blessing this man with a healthy baby. To be honest, I would have been emotionally crushed if anything had happened to the baby or his wife.

Miscellaneous: 

-I’ve been a little lazy with language lately! I want to step up my game and learn as much as possible while I am here.

-I helped with the secondary school program for Compassion International last week a little. God really has allowed me to take more initiative there, especially since I was one of the only younger volunteers around to help.

-After thinking and praying about it, I will be joining the worship team at church. I hang around church so often that one of the pastors approached me and told me that she wants me involved in a ministry. God surely dropped that one in my lap!

-Easter was lovely. I spent the morning at church and then went to visit a fellow AIM friend who lives close by. She left for home at the end of April, as her term had ended, and I miss having her around. Not very many people to vent to now.

              
Culture:

I have really had to work on acknowledging everyone and making sure I greet everyone around that I know. Ugandans always acknowledge everyone in the room or in the immediate area – especially if they are in a familiar area.