Be still, my soul: the
waves and winds still know/His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
- Be Still, My Soul (old hymn)
- Be Still, My Soul (old hymn)
A thing
that I was reminded of this week can be tagged under the theme of entitlement. As Americans, we seem to
think we are entitled to a lot of things:
Ex: (1) It has been a bad, frustrating day-I deserve a glass
of wine and ice cream. (2) I paid for ______, so only I can use it. (3) The
waitress did not__________, so I won’t tip her. (4) I waited so long for
______. I should get something free. (5) Independence and freedom to do what we
want. (6) I worked hard all week, I deserve a day of video games.
I hope
you are beginning to see how our culture is and that there is a lot of
attention on “self”. I am reminded of it every day and am convicted as I
observe how life is here in Uganda. In this communal life, everything is
shared even if you don’t have much of anything. There is no lingering presence
of entitlement.
The house I moved to on Thursday
(temporary-the guest house was needed for some other visitors), was filthy, but
it has been cleaned and I have the basics. My shower doesn’t work, but I have
water at my fingertips. There is no lighting inside, but I have a flashlight
and extra batteries. My water jug can’t be filled without a hose, but I can get
water from the sink even so. The stove is old, but one hotplate works. I am not
in the apartment I was promised, and won’t be for a while, but I have a place
to sleep, cook, and bathe until my permanent place is ready. All of those
things together are more than most people have. I am not entitled to
anything…except what we should all have; Jesus. He is worth more than any of
the comforts known to us.
The guest house I lived in for a
couple weeks gave me comfort. It was safe with the watchman always around. The
bugs wouldn’t show their buggy eyes unless food was on the counter. I left most
of the windows open at night. I fell sound asleep without nerves or concerns. I
could come “home” after a full day of being with people and have some nice time
to myself – cooking, cleaning, showering, reading, writing, etc. All in a safe house. I never realized how much
value and a sense of entitlement I gave to that. I deserve that, right?
Friday brought many things. It was
my first time to meet all the teachers I will be working with for the next
year, and the house was still being cleaned and prepared. After school, I went
straight to the house to meet the cleaning lady and busied myself while she
washed floors and walls. She took the curtains off the kitchen windows before
she left to wash them so she could bring them back the following day. Not only
could someone see my glowing white skin in the kitchen, but there were also no
outside lights (security lights) on that side of the house. Unfortunately, it
gave opportunity for someone to come to the window and scare me while I was
cooking dinner with my flashlight. I was frightened and managed to call my
friend, the watchman from the guest house, to come and check things out. The
now angry and protective watchman, circled the house, checked my doors and
windows, and sat patiently at the table while I finished cooking my burned
potatoes and rice dinner. Only after he assured me that I would be safe did he
leave with a promise to come check on me in the morning. Regardless, I didn’t
sleep well.
After I had calmed down a little, I
remembered the words found in Pslams 91 (a passage I learned as a song): a
chapter brimming with the promises that God will be our protector and refuge in
times of trouble. “No evil shall befall
you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling. For He shall give His angels
charge over you to keep you in all your ways.” Much thanksgiving was felt
for the watchman and the comforting passage of scripture that was brought to
mind as I tried to fall asleep.
I am entitled to comfort. The
comfort found only in the Most High God. Not in a big, four bedroom house on
the Kyambogo University campus in Kampala, Uganda. Not even in the ranch-style
house on my grandfather’s farm in Broomfield, Colorado, U.S.A.
Chances are this will probably happen again. I will be startled and feel unsafe at times – living alone. It is a normalcy for many here in Uganda. That is the reality. This world is corrupted and evil is lurking, but I said “yes” to what God called me to do. And that “yes” was even for discomfort and fear at times; even at home. The amazing thing: He has already provided for me with my watchman – someone who doesn’t feel entitled to gain anything for his effort and care for my benefit. That is pretty rare, don’t you think?
Chances are this will probably happen again. I will be startled and feel unsafe at times – living alone. It is a normalcy for many here in Uganda. That is the reality. This world is corrupted and evil is lurking, but I said “yes” to what God called me to do. And that “yes” was even for discomfort and fear at times; even at home. The amazing thing: He has already provided for me with my watchman – someone who doesn’t feel entitled to gain anything for his effort and care for my benefit. That is pretty rare, don’t you think?
Where does my comfort truly lie?
P.S. I now have curtains and security lights at the back of
the house. ;)
Prayer:
Safety
and continued reliance on God
Permanent
housing soon
Relationships
with teachers and students as school starts tomorrow
Continued
learning
Highlights:
Received
a few hugs from Ugandan friends (hugs are reserved for good friends).
Continue
to be connected with a Wednesday afternoon fellowship group that is outreach
focused.
Connected
personally with some of the children during the Compassion program on Saturday.
Went to
the local market for the first time.
Found a
safe, trustworthy Boda (motorcycle taxi) driver to use from now on.
Spent a
lot of time sitting and learning.
Met
some friends at a school for the disabled in a nearby town.
Had
many friends greet me as I walked around campus. I am easily recognized, and it
feels so good to know people!
Saw
another muzungu (white person) on campus… Not the only one anymore!
Luganda:
Tugende
(let’s go)
Photos:
None
this week. Sorry!
Wow, Missy, what amazing perspective you have. I suffered from entitlement in Chile a lot so, I am so glad that you have battled through it. I'll keep praying for you dear!
ReplyDeletebeautiful sharing, as always :) Bwana asifiwe! by the way, i love love love the song you shared from at the beginning (i remember brian sharing the lyrics with us at kenya orientation!) and amen--good reminders. miss you, dear sister! Praying <3
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